This can be a time of great joy. It’s also a time of great frustration. What do you do when you have given something your all and you still end up failing. It feels like a moment of defeat. Your stomach feels sick and you are afraid that you’re going to be grounded for life. What do you do?
Parents, you know that you want the best for your kids. What do you do? How can you tell if your kid really is giving the work her best shot? Will grounding them from phone, friends, and computer really do the trick? Could he work harder and, if so, what do you do to help him work harder?
These are some of the hardest questions to answer. It is so easy to assume that there is some character flaw that keeps your child from being the A honor roll student you want for them. That they need to study more, work harder or play less to do better. Your child is probably thinking the same thing only more like this: “I’m so stupid. If I wasn’t stupid, I’d get A’s and it would be easy. Why bother? I’m never going to get this!”
Your child is not lazy or stupid. So, what can you do?
One of the first things to do is to let her know that you believe in her. Tell him we have all faced difficult challenges where we didn’t know what to do but that we usually figure it out. Let her know that failing is not the worst thing in the world as long as you don’t quit. Tell him that learning is a form of growing. Just like your body grows and gets stronger with effort, your mind grows and gets stronger with effort. Both forms of growth take time. Let your child know that you will be there and you’ll figure out how to do better together.
These messages are growth mindset messages.
Growth mindset messages provide the foundation to help a student move forward from a setback like a bad grade.
It may be that your child would benefit from a tutor who can help them with some of the content. In my next post, I’ll talk about what makes a good tutor and how to know that a tutor is a good fit for your child.
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